June 26, 2022 | Roe vs Wade

G Spot talks about the pro choice and pro life arguments of this issue without a “hound in the hunt.”

Good morning, I’m Austerity Jones.  We have just witnessed a historic day in the United States as the controversial Roe vs Wade legislation has been rolled back allowing states to decide the legality of abortion in the United States. 

For 50 years, abortion had been legal on the federal level, but it was ruled unconstitutional by a vote of 6-3.  Who better to talk about the social issue of the day than G Spot?

Wait – C Thomas, there is a typo.  It says here that G Spot is gonna talk social issues.  Surely that can’t be right. 

C Thomas: Austerity what have I told you about calling me Shirley? It’s ok Austerity, I have faith in him.

Austerity: You might have faith in him, but I don’t.  Did you not see that little poem of his last week?

G Spot: Not now, Austerity, I can’t chance going off script today.  I’d like to talk about the abortion topic because it is interesting, and I don’t have a horse in the race, a hound in the hunt, a sperm amongst the swimmers shall we say.  It’s my observation that America wants to have sex not kids.  In particular women want to have sex and avoid the responsibility for sex, just like men. Women have been copying us for years. First we voted, and then they wanted to vote.  Then we worked, and then they decided they wanted to work.  We had recreational sex and they wanted to have recreational sex. If a child happens to get past the pill, sponge, the dam, the latex, the sheepskin, past the miscarriage, the abortion clinic, and if we can afford them and think it is time, they actually make it into this life, we reward them by taking 6 weeks off and then resuming our lives.  We peddle the kid off to someone that makes the equivalent of a fast food worker and we take our government subsidy.  When we get home, we buy them every consumer toy known to man which they don’t want and then give them a tablet where they won’t bother us for awhile. 

“I believe that children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way.” Whitney Houston 

Whitney Houston sang that beautiful phrase but it sure doesn’t seem like it to me.  Whitney famously died in a bathtub after years of battling substance abuse and her daughter also died a few years later in a bathtub while her blood was full of narcotics so I guess that is a bad example. 

Austerity: G Spot where in the hell are you going with this?

G Spot: What I’m trying to say is that like most things in life good things take time.  Building a golf swing, building a lasting relationship, raising a barn or raising a kid.  They take time, and care, and commitment.  They require grace to apologize when they cry on an airplane of the courtesy not to take them on a flight so they don’t piss off the other 180 passengers so you can go see your sister carole, and it takes sacrifice and putting their needs ahead of your own.  That used to mean career, new vehicles, a larger house because everyone needs their own room (go back and look at how many people were reared in a little house not two generations ago) and lastly it takes two to do it well.  Successful single parents that actually raise a good human are little miracle workers.  

“I feel the greatest destroyer of peace today is 'Abortion', because it is a war against the child... A direct killing of the innocent child, 'Murder' by the mother herself... And if we can accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love... And we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts...” Mother Teresa

I think this is the first place that C Thomas would want me to start.  There is a lot of anger out there today and if you are happy today its best not to gloat or celebrate.  There are a lot of women that feel like something was stolen from them today, and there are a lot of people that feel that they have won something today. 

“I think it’s important that (Roe v. Wade) remain legal for medical reasons and other reasons.” Laura Bush

This was surprising coming from a conservative family woman.  Its one of the better arguments to made for having an abortion.  Medical reasons and I figure she means rape and incest here as other factors.  It’s a very difficult topic with lots of minutiae. 

“Worse than aborting is birthing in instability.” Abhijit Naskar, Hometown Human: To Live for Soil and Society

This is rather curious that when same sex marriage was legalized it was all the gays that were out and marching and parading and celebrating.  There is a decided lack of marching and celebrating today from pro-life advocates but there is a lot of angry marching and protesting by the pro-choicers. I thought winners always threw the parade like winning a super bowl… Having a baby without the means to support it is a difficult choice, but like a women’s right to choose I’ll have to let Ann Ross have the next word.

“I certainly supported a woman's right to choose, but to my mind the time to choose was before, not after the fact.” Ann B. Ross, Miss Julia Throws a Wedding

This is without a doubt how C Thomas must feel.

C Thomas: Amen brother!

G Spot: This would require thought and planning and if there is one thing we do poorly in this country it is thought and planning.  Look at our national debt, the amount of fast food eaten in place of homecooked meals, and curious case of always running out of thoe little orange goldfish at the bar long before closing time. 

“More people have died from abortion than the entire US population of 1980.” Russell D. Moore, The Gospel & Abortion

I have referenced this on a topic I wanted to discuss regarding the domegraphic shift in America.  Off the top of my head when social security was created there were 15 workers for every 1 recipient of benefits and the average age of death was like 65 or 70.  Now there are only 3 workers for every recipient and these old people keep living longer and longer getting more benefits.  The singer David Crosby has one of my favorite quotes and it is “We came up in that little window of time after the bith control pill was invented and before AIDS, and in that window we did it a lot.”  Haha, yes we did Davy boy! 

Austerity: G Spot, land the damned plane already.

G Spot: But I digress, I think it is fascinating that we have lost all of our manufacturing to Asia and I can’t help but think what would have happened if we didn’t have the pill, the condom, and abortion.  I think our country would look considerably different today.  Gone are the large families, gone are the families that stay in their towns, and gone are the binding to our communities and grounding that families used to provide.  If we feel nostalgic for that, we simply have to watch it in the movies now. 

“We do not believe in murder! We believe in convenience in our careers, in our cuisine, in our kills, and in our definitions.” Danielle Valenilla, Fun Dip & Other Misfortunes

I’d have to say this sums up the flippant portion of society that believes they have a right to abortion because it is isn’t in their plans.

“I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.” Ronald Reagan

Mr. Reagan probably provides the best point here. Everybody today that feels rage, joy, or what’s the big deal, all benefited and are allowed to feel those things because someone once chose to not have an abortion and end them. They were given the opportunity to feel all of these feelings and that is important to remember. For all the ladies out there that are feeling rage- I would encourage you to think about that as you grieve. For all of you ladies that are feeling joy because you are pro-life- realize that without careful thought and planning it could be you in that decision making a very difficult choice much like many women had to make pre-1972. As we have seen there is far more nuance to this issue than just a women gets to decide what to do with her body post sex. And for all of you fellas out there- for god’s sake go buy some rubbers, some condoms, some jimmy hats or your ass is likely to be writing some big checks in the future. 

Also born on this date:

Peter Lorre,

Derek Jeter,

from the Sound of Music Eleanor Parker,

and the most decorated Marine in history Chesty Puller.