Well hello there… pour yourself three fingers of the good stuff and sit down. In preparing for this event I read an article from the Washington Post that reminded us to not pay attention to LIV golf since it is sportswashing and that anyone that likes LIV is basically supporting a murderous institution because Saudi Arabia allegedly killed a journalist. To that I reply- “If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America, they don’t care.” G Spot are you channeling your inner C Thomas or what? No those are not my words, those are the words of Nelson Mandela. I’ll attach the link courtesy of famed liberal Michael Moore’s You tube page. Regardless of what you think about Mr. Mandela, I believe that many people around the world share his sentiment and to listen to a journalist pretend to care about the atrocities of a country while living in the United States and using Saudi Oil, and buying Chinese products, and watching the PGA tour that was supported by Honda for decades despite Honda making war components used on American soldiers. Stop the hypocrisy you big babies, and with that my political ode to DC is done for the day. Politics are a dirty affair and the opposite of this course which is pristine.
I am a Majestick G Spot and I am tied for the lead after Laurie Canter made a birdie on his first hole of the day. Please excuse me my Andys.
So the weather is wonderful and hopefully there will be no rain delays like Tulsa in Singapore. I have also decided that I think the cleeks logo is my favorite. As I said though, I am a major golf fan and I will be a Smash GC fan next year or until someone else wins a major. My cheering loyalties are available for sale by the way. I take cash, swag, and alcohol not necessarily in that order. Majesticks you got a freebie this year.
They keep talking about fatigue. It’s been 5 days since the PGA. These are supposed to be professional athletes. Please stop talking about fatigue.
Andy Ogletree is subbing for Paul Casey who is out with an injury on the Crushers and he is out at 2 under early with Graeme McDowell. But after driving the 9 tee and lagging up close McDowell goes to 3 under and they are taking apart this Trump national course.
There are 48 players in each round of LIV golf and Sihwan Kim has somehow managed to find himself in 49th place. He finished 48, 48, 48, 47,45,43 and I guess he is trending upward. So when I found out that he got to play the PGA championship last weekend, he made the cut and finished tied 62nd, one shot ahead of Justin Thomas. I just had to smile. LIV golf didn’t just win the PGA, they also showed that their worst player is still a very very good golfer.
Brooks was just on his phone, not what I was expecting to see. Haha. He cracked the clubface on his driver. I assume he has Bezos on speed dial.
The Majesticks are in second place at 4 under, I guess the Englishmen feel comfortable in DC even though they haven’t taken up residence there since setting fire to it in 1814. The Majesticks are back in first at 5 under!! Burning down DC.
Andy Ogeltree and James Piot are your early leaders at -3. Something there wasn’t even a line to bet on this morning, because I had a feeling.
We have hecklers heckling the fans now. DJ backed off and asked someone to be quiet and still. A couple guys said quite quietly, no one came to see you. HAHA! I like it, peer pressure by shame.
Here is a tip for all you spectators and future spectators- when you attend a golf event you can stand wherever you want behind the ropes and on whatever hole you want. There is no reason to stand where a drive is about to land and get hit in the head. You can stand behind a tee box which is a great place to watch and also around the green where the dispersion pattern is much smaller, but standing in the area where 330 yard missiles are landing is just dumb.
SueAnn Heng mentioned that Bryson was hitting his mini driver off the tee on number 9. David Feherty responds with “Minnie Driver is an actress.” That’s a birdie because it was well played.
We are over halfway through on Friday and the Majesticks are playing for the G Spot’s sweet sweet affections by being tied in first place with the Cleeks. They heard I was leaving at the end of the year and going to Smash and they aren’t happy with me. I am persona non grata, a lame duck fan, a very happy fan today though.
LIV golf sound issues with 6 holes to play. They are a work in progress…
Sihwan Kim is now 4 over…and it continues for the poor fella.
Graeme McDowell dropped a dickhead, then a fiery fucking dickhead on the hot mike. Haha, the Irish.
James Piot with a 66 and a very good performance from the youngster who we haven’t heard a lot from this year. Harold Varner is playing well and is the leader at 7 under with a hole to play, but Piot and Ogletree and 4 under have been surprises all day. The Ironheads led by Kevin Na are 10 under and leading the team competition with the Range Goats 1 back and Varner now has a makeable birdie putt to tie. Cam Smith and Mito Perreria join Ogletree and Na at 4 under and are lurking.
Brooks is 2 over after having to play multiple holes with a broken driver that was causing a weird ball flight. Between celebrations and a broken driver, Brooks did ok.
Well hello there… pour yourself three fingers of the good stuff and sit down. Welcome to Super Saturday.
DJ lips out a putt and then on the next tee pulls a shot into the rough and drops a “Oh, shit!” Not a great start for DJ.
It has been Harold Varner III, HV3, by a couple shots today but the field or peloton, if you will, is gathering right behind him. 2 players are at 7 under, 4 players at 6, 3 more at 5 under and 4 at 4 under. Moving day has been a group effort.
Phil Mickelson had an awful day on the greens yesterday as he was dealing with a poor performing putter. Today has been better but he is still 4 over for the tournament.
The wind has gotten gusty, to the point that people are waiting for gusts to die down before putting. It could be that a really low score might not be out there today.
Feherty thinks you should take your dog with you on courses and the group agreed. I COULD NOT DISAGREE MORE. No one cares about your dog except you, and while you are looking at how far your next shot is going to be your dog is taking a shit where my next shot is going to be. What is the canine obsession? Dogs are not people, keep your dogs at home where you can enjoy them and the rest of us don’t get annoyed by them. I’m so tempted to buy a pet skunk and just be as annoying to others as they are to me. Barking, pooping, pissing creatures are like babies with tails. I question whether people really believe that or just pander to animal lovers.
On the 10th tee HV3 tried to blow a snot rocket, hold one nostril and blow and he failed miserably. He had stringy trailing debris which he then wiped into his towel. He then hits his tee shot left into the hazard, almost into the water. I cringe when I think of his caddie grabbing that towel to wipe off a club or ball, but I find bodily fluids disgusting in general.
HV3 leads by 2 over Kevin Na who chipped in twice yesterday and has only missed one fairway today and has a hot putter going today as usual for Kevin. He is quick walking the putts in and seems poised for his best LIV Golf performance.
I’m telling you right now. I absolutely LOVE the app. There are no commercials and it is even better than watching on the CW which is simply fine. It’s so refreshing after last week’s PGA on CBS. CBS is better than NBC but the LIV app is still the best.
So the fans sing Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na hey hey good bye and Kevin Na who has probably heard some version of that his whole life walks by without acknowledging the Singing Sallys and one remarks “What the fuck dude?” Be better at life than shit ass comedy and he might acknowledge you. Haha, good for you Kevin. Feherty remarks “how delightfully tuneless.” If you haven’t noticed from our presidential or congressional elections of the last couple decades, there is not a lot of intellectual horsepower in DC these days. Austerity Jones just texted me a thumbs up on that one and a laughing emoji.
Stinger GC leads by 4 in the team competition with 8 to play as Burmeister Grace and Oosthuizen are all in the top 10. 4Aces and the Range Goats are tied for second with Torque in third.
Austerity just called me a rube for my take on dogs, but I stand by it. If you want politically correct go watch Brandel Chamblee and the rest of the blue Austin mafia tell you what to think. Before you go Austerity, just know, in the country, dogs are outside animals and don’t belong either on the furniture or in a purse.
Gastonia North Carolina is the home of HV3, and also the home of “Big Game” James Worthy of the Los Angeles Lakers and NBA hall of fame. Yes, C Thomas, also the birthplace of Thomas Sowell, economist, was also in Gastonia. Between you and I dear reader, no one cares… I have to turn my phone back off.
Harold has a very unique swing- he has a tucked right arm reminiscent of Ben Hogan. It’s a one plane swing concept where the club stays on plane the entire time. Hogan has a little more flow, rhythm, and extension to it, but Harold gets very consistent contact doing it that way. He wears the Jordan Logo so I find it weird that a golfer is promoting another sport.
Scott Vincent is the bearded and co-owner of the only hairstyle worse than Cam Smith on the LIV tour with Pat Perez of course. He has a brother named Kieran that has filled in for Jason Kokrak today. Kieran is 1 over and that was Jason’s score yesterday so he is performing quite nicely so far. Welcome young fella, and he looks just like his brother in golf gear.
The Cleeks coming off three last places and a semi-permanent place as the rival of the Majesticks are in 5th place today as sporting some very suave looking polos….
Eugenio Chacarra is at 5 under and a tie for 7th but he is wearing white golf shoes and either black or navy blue socks. Imagine that, and I shit you not.
Henrik Stenson is now up to 7 under and a tie for 3 and he has the Majesticks tied with their arch enemy the Cleeks in a battle of the queen’s best. Is that now referring to Diana’s replacement in the bed of King Charles? Some things are the same but some of the same things are now different.
The Range Goats are now in the lead by 3 over Torque and Stinger has dropped to 3rd and 4 shots back overall. How quickly things can change in the team competition?
Sebastian Munoz and his caddie speak Spanish while going through their pre shot routine. Its amazing the diverse areas of the globe that are represented. Some people play meters while others play yards to the pin. It is very interesting how many different ways there are to play good golf. Different swings, different yardages, different shots and yet anyone can win and any team can win.
Mito Pereira has it going at 8 under along with Na and Stenson. They are all chasing Varner who is at 9 under.
I find it very interesting that the very week I say that I will become a Smash GC fan for next year after Brooks’ performance in a major, they immediately take over the cellar like a mischief of mice. Speaking of mischief, if another LIV golfer wins a major before next year I will go to the team that wins a major most recently. Hopefully we can have two more LIV golfers win the final two majors.
The Potomac is so shallow that you can walk across it. I heard that yesterday and wanted to try and confirm it. Since I couldn’t, I think George Washington crossing the Potomac on Christmas Eve isn’t nearly as courageous. If I am allowed to discount winter war time courage from the safety of my easy chair while watching golf. Yes, I am aware of the ridiculousness of my statement. It might be dwarfed by the ridiculousness of being able to walk across the Potomac because I googled it and the internet said you could walk across the Potomac and then it listed all the bridges… Love can build a bridge- The Judds
Stinger’s wild ride continues as they are back in the lead at 17 under after Captain Louis makes eagle on number 18.
Ian Poulter gave us a lesson on getting fresh grips and he explained that he does his own re-grips and that he used to work in a pro shop for 7 years. It’s amazing the details that these guys understand in the game.
The crowds seem a little light today with it being the Memorial weekend and in a liberal city. I think LIV might have found something in the Midwest when they stopped in Tulsa. Skip the big cities and the liberal bastions and go to the heartland.
The leaders have been backing up a bit on this course which is drying out and getting tougher. HV3 has backed up to 8 under and is tied with Mito Pereira. They were tied with Kevin Na, but he made a bogey and dropped to 7 under. Henrik Stenson had it to 7 but dropped a shot to 6 under in a tie with Captain Louis. James Piot has been backing up and is at 4 under but does have a birdie look. Andy Ogletree is hanging in at 6 under and performing nicely as a sub this week.
Bryson leaves an eagle putt 2 inches short and is now at 4 under only 4 shots back. HV3 finishes with an even par 8 under and it will be crowded tomorrow. There are 20 golfers within 5 shots of the lead.
Henrik Stenson the Majestick shoots 67 and is in a tie for 3 currently! How about that? Kevin Na missed 2-3 putts to get to 8 under today but the putter betrayed him of all things. Mito Pereira makes birdie on his last hole and has a one shot lead at 9 under. Koepka shot 69 today and is 3 under. Cam Smith is 6 under in the not poop group who all have a shot tomorrow.
Torque has the lead at 18 under with Stinger and those Range Goats tied just 3 shots back.
Well hello there… pour yourself three fingers of the good stuff and sit on down. Sunday Funday. Thomas Pieters is out today after hurting himself in the gym this morning. This is why I avoid the gym like a plate of salad. I am healthy and I am here. Wade Ormsby is filling in for Peters and the Range Goats who are in second place so this has serious implications for the team title.
Kevin Na just chipped in one number 1 and got a birdie to move within 1 shot of the lead. He has been chipping in all week and grinning like a Kardashian at a plastic surgeon.
As a Majestick G Spot, it is great seeing Henrik Stenson in the final group. Let’s go blokes.
I am watching the rough be very penal again in this tournament and I have surmised that the LIV courses are good preparation for the majors. These courses are largely ball strikers courses which are much more aligned with the idea of a major course setup than bomb and gouge.
Stinger Captain Louis goes birdie birdie to get himself within one of the lead and push Stingers back to the lead.
Mito Pereira has a weird swing thing. He has an abbreviated follow through on his short irons and it causes the ball to go right. Feherty pointed this out and it cost Mito a bogey on his first hole of the day and now the lead is at 8 under and a group of 4 players.
Feherty just said if it wasn’t for the sacrifices of the white crosses at the military cemeteries; we certainly wouldn’t be worrying about what pronouns to use. Well said for someone that wasn’t born here but deeply loves this place. His fellow commentators gave him crickets briefly as they weren’t suer they were ready to say anything on such a touchy feely topic. Good for you David, speak your mind. You have a platform. That’s enough now, back to sports and get politics out of my broadcast.
Mito bogeyed his second as well, Henrik bogeyed his second, Kevin Na is holding steady and HV3 is at 8 under and now a huge left to right eagle putt goes down and Cam Smith the putting maestro is tied for the lead. What a putt!
Look out, Brooks is 3 under already and only 2 back. It’s a good thing he partied all week watching Miami sports or he would be a real threat. He is playing well as the best player in the world should.
Cameron Tringale and his wife are into grounding it seems. That is when you walk barefoot and connect to the energy and forces of the earth. Mrs. Tringale is walking barefoot around the course and Troy Mullins how good it is for your health. There are a billion plus people world-wide that are called poor that would do anything to be wearing shoes and you have a closet of full of them and are walking barefoot. Rich people are always imitating the poor. I stand by my belief that the Native Americans lived the greatest lifestyle in history. Cameron is wearing black socks with two white stripes so I question a lot about the young man, except his game.
Bryson DeChambeau holes out an eagle from the bunker and he is one shot back. A big smile from him as he has been playing well the last couple weeks.
Sebastian Munoz hits the flag, not the flagstick and the ball lands right next to the hole and he has a short birdie putt to tie Mito, HV3, and Brandan Grace at the top of the leaderboard.
The Majesticks are one shot out of 3rd place. G Spot has lit a fire under them with his future defection to Smash. That is unless a member of the Majesticks wins a major??? Let’s podium first and then we will see ehh boys? God save the queen!
Andy Ogletree is only one shot back and staying in contention, not bad for a sub.
SueAnn Heng spent some time with Cam Smith’s sports psychologist and every time she mentions the shrink the hole shrinks and Cam misses a putt. Millions of weekend golfers have cancelled their couch sessions for next week and are going to watch hockey like Brooks instead to make more putts.
Branden Grace chips out of the bunker and hits the flag for eagle but it stays out. His birdie will vault him into the lead with Varner at 9 under. But HV3 answers back with a chip in from the bunker for birdie and the lead solo once again. It feels like his week…
Ladies and Gentlemen the Majesticks are in a tie for 3rd place with the RangeGoats late on Sunday afternoon. Pour yourself another 3 fingers of the good stuff and grab some ice and chill the fuck out. We are in the hunt… We are in solo 3rd people!! Majestickal!
HV3 finds the fairway bunker off the par 5 tee and has to chip out but has a birdie putt. Mito Pereira makes an eagle bomb from way downtown. He is back to 9 under and Torque in the team lead by two. Stenson has a makeable birdie putt as well. Harry, as the fans are calling him, misses and makes par. Stenson makes his birdie and is two back tied with Ogletree.
Cam Smith had a birdie putt and the camera crew cut to a picture of the flag halfway through the putt and we didn’t find out how it went. Growing pains people….
Mito lipped out a birdie putt on 16 that would have gotten him within one with two to play. Torque by 3, and HV3 by a shot over Grace who is playing 1 and 2 while Harold is playing 17 and 18. 2 holes left. My Majesticks are going south like Canadian geese on the first frost.
Varner delivers an excellent approach on 17 to inch closer to winning his first LIV golf event. He misses the putt and has one hole left.
Brooks, I know you are the man and all, but take your hat off when you congratulate your playing partners. They gave you the courtesy please reciprocate…
Branden Grace makes a putt for birdie to pull into a tie with Varner who is sitting in the fairway on the par 5 18th. HV3 needs a birdie or we go to another playoff which would be two playoffs in a row for Grace.
HV3 tells Vito “Fuck you, Mito I knew what you were doing” He said it playfully and was joshing with his caddy as well. HV3 was relaxed and having a good time with these guys all day and needs a two putt to win. I like that they are showing the trash talk and cussing since that is what golf is actually like. He lags it to a foot and HV3 is going to be the champion at 12 under.
Torque wins the team title. The Majesticks faded late but improved on their recent form.
Everyone including this old scribe gets a few weeks break so…
We will see you in Valderrama.
Insightfully yours,
G Spot Johnson
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