Well hello there… pour yourself three fingers of the good stuff and sit on down.
I’m G Spot Johnson and we are back for the 3rd event of the LIV golf season. After the marathon Tucson hole by hole coverage I decided that format was for the birds or at least 18 year old interns, so I will tone it back and just give you what’s really going on out there. For example during day two David Feherty decided to go white undershirt, black vest and a plum jacket. I am certain that he is colorblind or a child dresses him.
The G Spot Flirtation contest is in the home stretch- Out of the running for my cheers this year are Stinger, Smash, 4 Aces, the Cleeks, and RangeGoats for reasons already noted. Fireballs are now officially out because cheering for Sergio is difficult for two reasons: he seldom can make a putt when you need him to and his past behavior is boorish, but he will be fun to watch because he is a truly great striker of the golf ball. Torque is out because I will be continually confused because I read their name as tork not Tor-kay. No bueno! I can’t drink whiskey and be confused so they are out. Ripper is out since they changed their name to from Nibliks to Ripper. What was wrong with Nibliks? Is Ripper even an upgrade? I don’t think their judgment can be trusted and that might spillover into their course management, so I am out on them. The Ironheads are out for two reasons- Danny Lee who was last week’s winner said in the post match interview that he “didn’t know if winning was for him.” Congrats on the win Danny and welcome to LIV but I want a little more fire in the belly confidence than that, and second Kevin Na is too skinny. Everytime I look at him I look over at my exercise bike covered in my dry cleaning and think, maybe tomorrow little buddy. So the Majesticks are fashionable and still in the running for my affections along with Crushers and Highflyers.
Sebastian Munoz went out on Day 1 with a -9 and Richard Bland started with a double bogey and then bounced back to finish with a -7 score. He must have taken offense at my blandish comments last week. Scoring is much easier as there are some wide fairways out there unlike the first two events where driving off line was more penal. Scores will be low as the players that live in south Florida will likely go low. Players to watch on day two- Brooks Koepka is to -7 after a birdie on his first hole. DJ birdied early and is now at -6. Lee Westwood birdied the first at is to -6. We got names at the top.
White pants in Florida humidity? That is a recipe for some good old fashioned swamp ass tv embarrassment in my opinion. Abraham Ancer should know better. Sebastian Munoz’s shirt is already soaked so those britches on those boys are probably damp.
We might as well address the elephant in the room. The Masters has my focus already so my first thought is how beautiful the course is up in Georgia. The Florida green doesn’t show as nicely on TV as the winter conditions still has some brown and some discoloration. Next week is the best week of the year so things will get better from here.
So the CW is the broadcast partner and I have been watching on the app before this so the commercials are a rough interruption to what is a magnificent watching experience. It is still better than NBC and the playing through non-stop interruptions but I can’t have this. So I have the big screen on but I have the app open and I get the sound from the app and I can watch during the commercials, but then I can watch on the big screen when the CW rejoins us. The sound matches up pretty good so a little life hack LIV style for you.
Brooks never liked any events other than majors so I think he is perfectly suited in the LIV tour to paly enough to stay sharp and get some reps but still peak at the majors. I think he is a major threat starting next week. He is making those 6-8 footers with confidence and that is trouble for the field. I can also promise you that Brooks doesn’t think “Winning isn’t my thing.”
Brooks continued- he has run out to a 3 stroke lead and is striping every drive and making putts, but more importantly, he is leaving the ball where you want to putt from below the hole and it makes me think that he is in total control of his golf ball. I have said it before, I think Brooks’ major game is the best major game we have seen since Tiger in the majors. This bodes well for Augusta.
Final Day
Brooks starts with the lead and I don’t expect him to be caught.
Watching DJ hit his second shot when I hear a lady in the street and a freak in the bed…Not your usual golf event
We are down to the final day of the G Spot Flirtation contest and the High Flyers are out. My favorite player right now is Brooks Koepka and my favorite player all time if Phil Mickelson so I didn’t think it was appropriate to cheer for Phil and not Brooks. I will cheer for both of those guys anyway, but it’s down to the Majesticks and the Crushers. Stay tuned…
There is an interesting aspect of LIV- the golf course. You can see teams or players that are playing on the easier holes start making birdies and then when the leaders play those easy holes it often stretches back out. It makes the team totals fluctuate a lot specifically where the easy par 5s are located.
“I think he wants to win” One of the lady’s commentary regarding Matthew Wolf. Huh? Ok, I think it was Troy Mullins because she basically said the same thing again… Oy vey….
So Crushers are out because I just don’t think I can cheer for Brooks’ sworn enemy’s team. I really like Chucky Three Sticks and Paul Casey, but I just can’t do it. So I’m down to the Majesticks, but wait I am bringing the Cleeks back in. I really like the journeyman element they have going with Richard Bland and Laurie Canter. Richard Bland won his first event at 48 years old and Laurie Canter won his way on the European tour 4 times which means he lost his card 3 times. I get a feeling I’m picking a team that isn’t very good, but let’s hope that the sum of the parts is better than the whole. The Majesticks are a team of past their prime golfers as well. Both teams are sitting dead last in the yearly team standings, so I really know how to pick them. European influence in both teams so this feels right to me. I am going to flip a coin. I wanted to cheer for the Cleeks so I flipped the coin once and it was Majesticks and I instantly said 2 out of 3 and it was again Majesticks. So Majesticks it is. Go Team Majesticks! This is very surprising.
So Team Majesticks and I are teaming up for the year. They have 3 team captains which is unique. So my two out of 3 coin flip feels right. Lee Westwood, one of my favorite players to watch and a great ball striker. Should have won a major over the years, but has been a world number 1 as a consolation and he has had a long and great career. Ian Poulter is a long time European player who has been a Ryder Cup nemesis of the US for many years. Known as a clutch putter and super competitive, I could see him being better if the team was in contention. Henrik Stenson is a funny guy that doesn’t look like it on the golf course. He went head to head with Phil Mickelson lapping the field in the second playing of the Duel in the Sun to win the Open Championship in 2016. He is a Swede and since my favorite player is Annika Sorenstam, I am down with this. Sam Horsfield was born in England, but grew up in the US and is a rising young star so he seems like an outlier with the three old heads. Go team Majesticks and yes they are the best dressed, and they refer to themselves as the grandpas. I really know how to pick them…. Cheer for them people because they need it, but don’t bet on them….
Brooks tells his caddie Ricky Elliot not to worry he has it. He promptly mishits his iron….to 3 feet. What a weird game…
The crowds are big, the PGA media might tell you that know no one cares about LIV, but damn these galleries are deep. It’s a little different comparing Mayakoba crowds to golf crazy Florida on a nice day.
LIV has legs like its namesake Liv Tyler….
Pat Perez is a folk hero at this point. Folk Hero, and kind of a pimp.
Badgers testicles stuffed with seagull feathers- the origins of the golf ball from David Feherty and when asked if they came in a group of twelve he said only a pair. #weLIV4Golf content is strong
Brooks hit a 4 iron just right of a par 5 and says:
“Fuck off” Not once but twice.
The announcer says:
“Brooks Koepka is trying to be the first person to win two events on the LIV tour” And I thought he was going to say the first person to drop 3 F-bombs in 5 seconds on live TV.
Sebastian Munoz is going to be a very good player imo. He has a lot of grind in his game. Sneaky long off the tee although he does it a little different than a big hitter like Brooks, but he did outdrive him a few times. A guy to watch.
My Majesticks stink- Poulter hit a shot that would be a poor shot for me. Come on boys!
Torque and Smash are tied with 3 shots to play at -35, there has never been a team playoff in LIV golf. Today could be the day… I just heard that if there is an individual playoff and a team playoff that an individual can’t play in both since they take place concurrently, that’s amazing. Also amazing, the captain has to pick 3 players- who do you not pick? Would Brooks not pick his brother? Would a Captain not pick himself? This will be dramatic in the future. Good stuff.
I have been at fault for not mentioning Charl Schwartzel before. He is the 2011 Masters Champion and a South African. The birdied the last four holes to win that day. Legendary even if he never does another thing in his career. Never forget these guys that rise to the occasion like that. Never. That was the day that the 3rd round leader shot a final round 80, some Irishman. My apologies, Charl.
My Munoz prediction looks good as he just chipped in with 3 to play to get within 1 shot of Brooks. Torque and Smash are tied with 3 to play and the 4Aces are two back for the team title.
Update- My Munoz prediction did not take into account that he evidently can’t hit a bunker shot. He has hit back to back bunker shots well over the green after thinning them. So weird to see a pro do it once, much less twice. Ay Caramba!
My Majesticks are sitting in 4th !!! Way to grind boys! Hold on. We need to get out of the cellar.
Well Brooks makes a 5 footer for par on 18 to win the individual and Munoz made a 5 footer for par for the team title on 18. Super unique ending. The champion is not getting sprayed with champagne but it was Munoz that got the champagne.
The Majestick G Spots finished in 5th tied with the Cleeks. Both of my final choices had a nice bounce back this week, but I am a Majestick G Spot this year. Let’s go.
Insightfully Yours,
G Spot Johnson
Now- It is Masters Week and a tradition unlike any other. I got turkey flesh on my arms already. Strap in people! – for the best week of the year.