I’d like to welcome you to Weliv4Golf. I’m G Spot Johnson, your favorite author at the C Thomas Printer Cooperative. We will get into why I decided to choose to cover this new tour, but saddle yourself with the knowledge that the PGA Tour reeks of exclusivity and country clubs, and I have been fighting those elitist bitches my whole life. Don’t get me wrong, I love golf and honestly I love golf just as it is, quiet, peaceful, and boring. By the way, LIV has decided to add music and jazz it up which I don’t care for, but they are going to try some new things and modify the product as it goes. I watched it last year and the viewing experience is so much better, and that usually wins in the end. There is so much more golf and on the app there are no commercials. It was wonderful. I will dive deeper into what this is really going on with the competing tours’ feud, which is about money and power, but first let’s just enjoy golf on the CW or the LIV Golf Plus app.
Here we go and Viva la Mexico…
Day 2- Through the eyes of G Spot
- So, LIV golf begins with a shotgun start and the players and the announcers almost pooped themselves. Maybe that is why they are wearing shorts 😉 Seriously, it was very loud but everyone started playing golf right away on different holes and thus everyone finished in just over 4 hours but on different holes so the action is fast and furious and the leaders are playing right front the beginning.
- The LIV golf shot tracer technology was not quite up to par shall we say. Cam Smith hit one and the shot tracer started down the fairway and then went hard left, the announcer said it was on the way to the international space station. Great line.
- 60,000 people have bought tickets to the Australia Adelaide event, that’s for 3 days…I think this tour has legs, like Kevin Durant does…
- Plumsmuggler is commentary gold from David Feherty when referring to a speedo, the Mexican beach uniform
- Feherty followed that up by calling Courvoisier – curve vossier? He is obviously not a fan of cognac, luckily they called him out on it.
- The LIV drone coverage of the hole is too fast, I think it was trying to match the beat of the background music, which I don’t like. This is golf people! I didn’t mind the music itself but playing it during golf isn’t my cup of Courvoisier so to say…
- A little Shakira to pander to the Latin crowd …. Nice.
- Hearing the caddie golfer conversations is fantastic.
- Seeing Coatis, which are long tailed raccoons of the no mask wearing variety, ran across the greens. If you haven’t seen a coati or their similar cousin the coatimundi, the Costa Rican variety, they look like they could sniff cocaine through a chain link fence.
- Lots of heavy breathing could be heard…the cameramen are not yet in mid-season shape…
- This LIV golf coverage is pretty democratic…they hardly showed Bryson or Brooksie since they were out of contention… Bryson DeChambeau and Brooks Koepka for the non-golfers out there.
- Mayakoba is known as a place where ball strikers flourish and Chucky 3 Sticks is that guy. That is more fun than watching drivers and wedges….
- To hell with that Waste Management Open in Phoenix, the beach party on the white sandy beaches of Mayakoba looks amazing without all the amateurs…
- Relegation is such a great idea… European soccer uses relegation where the bottom three teams go down a level, think if the Detroit Lions took last place yet again in the NFL and they would be forced to play semi-football not on Sundays and win to get to have the privilege of coming back up and playing on Sundays. That is why LIV is doing it in a modified way. The top 24 players are guaranteed to come back next year, but everyone else is going to potentially lose the golden goose and golden paydays…that is going to be amazing to watch at the end of the season. A-mazing!! LIV promotional tour is going to bring at least 4 new players into the tour next year. Nice…
- It was fun watching pros struggle. The course was narrow at certain points where the drives would normally land and it made some pros hit 3 wood or even a chicken stick aka 1-iron. The ones that didn’t though got themselves in some serious trouble. Jungle shots, hazards less than a foot off the cart path, and a real penalty for driving off line. The PGA tour could learn a lesson here.
- No CW commercials on the App- such a great life hack…
- The snowcone driving metric is fantastic. It shows how the scoring changes based on where the drive ends up.
- I like the fact that they can shoot the yardage with a rangefinder. Welcome to the 21st Century.
- Drinking beer out of a shoe made an appearance, a shoey…. I didn’t expect that during Heng time, but definitely not the country club approved. Therefore, I approve!. Then we got a salty booty from west Texas…these LIV folks are my people.
- A commercial free run of 50 minutes is heaven to sports fans. Please don’t ever change, it reminds me of the year that Martha Burk tried to blackmail Hootie Johnson and the Masters so they just did away with commercials for the year and stuck all 30 protesters in a parking lot across the street. It was the biggest failure of a protest in sports until Charles Barkley tried a donut boycott.
- Mayakoba was showing out as the kids say. What a beautiful location and felt so much more natural to watch. Amazing.
- Whoever put together the approaches from less than 275 yards in the rough in the WTF Feherty segment needs a quick refresher on the greater than and less than sign or clarity on the English language.
- Chucky 3 Sticks in a phenomenal nickname for Charles Howell III. When Chucky Trey was a skinny kid, he was playing in this tournament I was watching, and he went for this green in two and hit a marvelous shot onto the green. His sister was caddying for him and they were walking up the green and she reached over and said something and squeezed his bicep and must have said how strong he was. Chucky Trey smiled and got all embarrassed as his sister laughed at his reaction. Someone needs to interview her cause I like her sense of humor. Get on it LIV…
- Watching LIV golf without the stupid “playing through” might be my favorite thing of the new year. NBC golf coverage is akin to a lap dance from a porcupine. CW >NBC
- Foltzy, Jerry Foltzy, had a nice segment about not excluding people for bad fashion attire. It led to a conversation about how young the game was becoming and how LIV was trying to not restrict interest. I think there is a difference between Top Golf and a golf course. I’m still trying to understand how professionals are playing without collared shirts, but if we have crossed that Rubicon then wearing shorts is not a stretch at all. The guys were very PC and inclusionary. The ladies then chimed in and wanted no crop tops. They wanted a classy look and feel, and made it more exclusionary. I do know that if more women wore crop tops that would generate interest in the game, kind of a mixed mammary message if you ask me.
- Mayakoba is a beautiful area, the sand is wonderfully white and the sea color is perfectly blue.
- The commissioner of Liv, Greg Norman, rides around the course on a bicycle with a basket. God, this sport is so unpretentious. That is not allowed in the Country Club where Justin Thomas learned the game and which fork to use when.
- Henrik Stenson, who looks like he sleepwalks on a treadmill to maintain that physique, still has some soft hands as he chipped in on 15.
- Ian Poulter of the Majesticks looks like he belongs in blue. It’s a really good look and very UK.
- Drunk gals making out…welcome to LIV golf…
- Brooks Koepka is so unemotional that I imagine he yawns while having sex…why am I imagining Brooks Koepka having sex?
Austerity jumps in to comment: “I don’t know why, ‘G spot’, would you like to elaborate? “
- Phil Mickelson is so skinny, he looks like he is unwell.
- “We got fucking deer and raccoons.” The live mike on the 16th when Jason Kokrak teed off.
- DJ making fun of Bubba’s new name the Rangegoats was funny. He was so confused and all he could say was “Bubba” while shaking his head.
- Feherty made a Wounded Knee joke after Dom Boulet walked into a cactus the previous day. Native American references are always welcome.
- Navy shorts look nautical which might be how they got the name I guess.
- Pat Perez looks like he is a steer wrestler during the offseason trying to impress his dad who doesn’t approve of his playing golf or haircut.
- What I learned today- 80% of the Australians live within what is called the coastal zone aka near the coast and the commentator says “there isn’t a lot going on in the middle”- is that why they call it the virgin outback?
- Kokrak has asked for people to hold still once and twice asked for carts to stop moving… no one else mentioned it once that I recall.
- As someone who says Caribbean I found it off putting when it kept getting called Karo bean.
- Fireball Abraham Ancer is a stud in the making…and no I don’t drink Fireball… at least before 10pm unless it’s free.
- A Round Mound of Hound named Chuck from Philly is watching and named after Barkley. Feherty gold.
- Paul Casey’s champagne game was on point during the team celebration and I don’t think anyone else had ever opened a bottle. Charles Howell III doesn’t drink so he gets a pass…
- #livbroadcast is where you go to put a picture of your golf watching den. Maybe you will get shown on the tele